As Fruipit's wonderful Chapter 3 addition is now at he final stages of her final edits, THAT MEANS YOU'RE UP HENRY!!!!! Get cracking on your Chapter 4 son *whip cracks*
What were we calling it again??? The prologue page says "People Running and Screaming" But did we change it to one word like Running, or Escape, or Confusion----or something?
I'll be at camp all this week, so you and Frui get together to do some drafting, and I EXPECT to see a little bit of something on here on a Chapter 4 page by the time I get home on Friday! YOU HEAR!? XD
A header poem
A good introductory character story
A reference to both Jia on the docks, as well as Kasumi (who's chapter is after yours)
And end the chapter with the explosions around the city and (I think it is a thing now) End the whole thing, the last word you type being the name of your chapter....whatever that is?
I'm in a rut on my story and if you're the only one in the universe that's going to ever read it (aside from possibly Frui) then.....tell me....what were you thinking about werewolves for? What are you planning?
Darn.....I knew it had something to do with Twilight....
I added the term "downworlders" and even "Lycanthropes" into the chapters, but I wasn't sure how much I would expand on that.
My main issue is the tiny snipit of Ch.3 on there....I'm not sure how to get my female lead into and out of danger so the story can kick off. I was thinking the winds knock something over and crash into a window so she goes to check it out. PS- what do you think of everyone's names/ bios? I pride myself on those, so I want to know if they're legit!?
So, just to make sure, Miccam is an assasin for Bennet?
And the werewolves would be cool if they help Miccam and Seychelle (like the name!) from the vampies, because I'm pretty sure those are who are helping them. And then there can be a love triangle, like one of the werewolves falls in love with Seychelle but Seychelle is confused and Miccam loves Seychelle and ya!
I like the idea. A lot like Mortal Instruments, which was pretty good. The names and bios are very well put together, so that's a plus. I'll have to read the chapters, which will take longer.
And for the trouble for Seychelle. So she gets out of the shop and hears Vampires discussing something, correct? Yeah, the wind causing a window to break is a good idea. Or what if she sees some sketchy guy (Vampire) walk past the window and goes to check it out?
Haha Ultionem was inspired by the Mortal Instruments! It never really took off past cool character bios and a few chapters though and then it flopped.
Love triangle? Really!? Hahaha...more Twilight stuff! Everything these days is a love triangle! XD
Curiosity might not be her strong suit....I think it was her walking home, bout to storm, its dark out, and CRASH she goes to make sure the people are okay, but I think I said that she knew the little bar down the street was abandoned, so really----she lacks motivation to go look in the store!
Miccam just values life and was raised in a very religious environment and he didn't want to go to Hell. He's a raging bloodthirsty killer nonstop, but it's conflicting because he doesn't want to be a monster, but he owes his immortal soul to Bennet. Not so much cowardice is it to not want to die for fear of his eternal place in the world.
Nah....he just doesn't want to die. He doesn't want to go to Hell more....but he just doesn't want to die. LOL the way you said it reminds me sort of like the story of Ondine or Kuekuatsu, or something XD
Ok? LOL. But is the point of the sarcasm sign being at the end of the sentance of creating the sarcasm sign, mean that the entire phrase was meant to be sarcastic and there really isn't a sarcasm sign? O_o
Shui is a kind, humorous young man, but also has a violent temper and has trouble forgiving people. He is strong, determined, and never gives up. However, he is caring and protective of his family, friends, and job. He can also be rather flirtatious and can at first come off as an annoying prick around girls he likes.
So, I take it Jia is going to think he's a prick to start off with. Maybe he can start off as nice because he doesn't know how else to act around her, but pretty quickly figures out that she doesn't want "nice". They're the same age, but I think Jia would just see him as a hindrance until he proved that he wasn't, you know?
And I actually don't know what happened to her brother, and it's unlikely the audience will find out either. And yes, Oki's boyfriend is gay :P